Today's Monday morning is just going to be a chat. No fun pictures, no entertaining stories, just a little Monday morning confessional, if you will.
I've been back from Australia for a month now, and I'm here to tell you that transitioning back into my "old" life has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. Part of it is due to a lot of changes (good changes, albeit changes), and part of it is due to an innate pressure that I put on myself to always be on top of things. Either way, I've struggled to find my "groove."
I came home and there were a ton of wonderful things that happened within 3 days of me getting home. I moved into a new apartment, I got engaged, I was promoted at work - all good things, but all pretty big changes. And you know what people naturally don't do well with?
Change.
What's funny is that every single day in Australia was an adventure. I had no schedule, I had no agenda, I had no familiarity - Australia was 2 months of constant change, and I loved it. But when I got back to Dallas I immediately felt pressure (from no one but myself) to just pick up where I left off and not miss a beat. And I couldn't do it. I felt like I was drowning.
I still had several unpacked boxes in my apartment, I was behind at work, I felt pressure to blog but felt too unorganized, I felt pressure to pick a wedding date/venue since availability was already limited, I was lacking in routine, I was sick for almost three weeks, and I felt the need to say yes to every social gathering offered because I'd missed out on everything here for two whole months.
Now - am I saying I had real problems? No. People are dealing with much larger things out there. All I'm saying is I was personally struggling.
So after a complete hysterical breakdown at work this week (y'all I'm serious - I could not get it together for about three hours...it was bad), I decided to cut myself some slack and give myself a break. I made no plans for the weekend (other than Friday date night - because date nights are good for the soul), and I just focused on ME. If people asked if I had plans already, I said yes. Because I did - with myself. And if you don't make (and keep) plans with yourself every so often, you're going to lose control of your life a lil bit.
I made a list (hallelujah for the list) and focused on one task at a time. Now the things on the list were nothing extreme, and tasks most people (including my normal self) do on the reg - but I actually had to take time out and force myself to do them. Force myself to get back on track.
I unpacked boxes, took stuff to goodwill, picked up dry-cleaning, got my car inspected, joined a gym (and all the people said amen), stocked my empty pantry, caught up on work, got ahead on blogging, organized all my utility accounts - I simply just got my life together.
And today? Well, today I'm all smiles.
Why am I telling you this? I don't know - likely because I'm probably not the only person who feels like they're drowning. And I'm also probably not the only person who feels like they're drowning and the only one holding you under water is yourself.
Grab a floatie, dude. Take a breather. If you stop dog-paddling and just take a break for 48 hours, I promise the world will keep turning. Only then you'll be able to actually keep up with it.
There are too many external forces that will put pressure on you to add internal pressure to the mix. Give yourself some grace. Be your biggest cheerleader. Just take some time to get yourself back on track. You are your biggest advocate.
Just a little self-pump for your Monday :)
Until next time,
Katy
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