Thursday, May 4, 2017

KUWK: on my inability to make a decision

Okay. So it's been a while since I did a "KUWK" post. In fact, it's been so long that some of you may not even know, or remember, what it is. 

Keeping Up with Katy (KUWK) posts are just outlets for me to share things that truly represent ME. They're things that make me who I am. Some are weird (I did one on my coffee mug obsession), some are special (like the time I did one on being a Baylor Bear) and some are honest and hard (like the one I did on how I look a little funny). 

And today's post? Well, today is going to be all about how I straight up have issues

I've already (briefly) shared with you how I'm incapable of making a decision, but after this past Tuesday's events, I've decided it deserves it's own KUWK tribute

Because I can't make a decision to save my life.

^^ ew ^^

So on Tuesday we took engagement pictures. I took the day off to relax, get my nails done, get my hair did, etc., so honestly I wasn't stressed in the slightest. 

THEN as I'm about to leave for the nail salon, I realize I have no idea what color I want to paint my nails. Simple dilemma, right? PICK.ONE. 

Oh but no. I kind of wanted French, but I had a gut feeling that look wasn't really "in" anymore, so I texted three friends to confirm. Not one. Three. Then I decided I wanted a neutral colored nail, but couldn't decide what color. So the whole way to the nail salon I'm talking to Melissa and Kristie trying to figure this out.

THEN the three of us decide I'll just pick a neutral color based on the gel options they have. I am the world's best nail chipper, so I needed the gel. Awesome right? Gel colors are much more limited than regular nail polish. I can pick a neutral, no problem. 

So I thought. 

I find two neutral colors while they're prepping my "chair" and could not, for the life of me, make a decision. So then I have to tell them I haven't decided and subsequently take the pile of creepy-already-painted-nails to my chair with me.  

Foot Guy gets started, and it's quite obvious Hand Girl would really like me to make a decision so she, too, can do her thing. 


I'm sitting there staring at two (2) colors (that aren't a world of difference, mind you - neutral is neutral) telling my dadgum brain to pick one AND IT JUST WON'T CHOOSE. I know a nail color is not the end of the world. I told myself that. But I still couldn't choose. 

So then I awkwardly try to take pictures of the creepy-painted-fake-nails on my own nails to send to my decision-making posse, but Hand Girl was staring at me and sighing. Then my palms got all sweaty and I couldn't take good pictures, and my heart is racing just reliving it. 

I finally tell the lady to paint both colors on a nail so I can make an informed decision. She looked at me like I was crazy. I told her I was taking my engagement pictures that day. She didn't seem to care. 

She paints both colors and I make a decision. 

Just kidding. I asked her which one she likes. She just stared at me. I think there was a language barrier. So I ask the girl next to me. She picked one. I agreed. (I am a champion at concurring.)

Inability to make a decision, Exhibit A. 

Once my nails were painted, I wanted to cry. I thought they were hideous. I never have white nails, and while this was a pale pink, to me it looked like I had trident gum pieces taped to the end of my fingers. 

But they weren't THAT bad, were they? 
Or were they? I couldn't decide.

So I sent pictures. 

I was staring at my hand and could not decide whether or not I liked my nails. IT'S A YES OR NO DECISION. I sat in that blasted parking lot until I heard from all five people that they liked my nails. I then made the brave and bold decision that I did, too. 

Inability to make a decision, Exhibit B.

Then I bought three pairs of earrings that go with the dress I was wearing, but I'll spare you the gory details of that one. As you can imagine, the earrings were definitely Exhibit C. 

So, why am I like this? Did something traumatic happen in my childhood? Am I missing a functioning portion of my brain? Am I just THAT indecisive?! 

You're probably sitting there thinking: "you idiot, just choose." I would be! But I am here to tell you that my brain legitimately shuts down when it comes to decision making. I just can't do it. It's like I cripple up until someone leans one way and I can lean with them. 

So after the affairs of Tuesday I've decided I have issues. 

Is there a self help book? Should I see a therapist? 

I chose the picture above because it gives me anxiety. I could never go on a game show. The ability for me to say "what's behind door number three, Bob?" - yeah, no. Not enough airtime in the world. It took me three hours to be okay with a nail polish.

What's interesting to me is it's usually over things that don't really matter: nail colors, restaurants for dinner, etc. The life-changing decisions? I'm all over those. The everyday normal human decisions that should be no-brainers? Nope, not a chance.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen. 

I am completely and utterly incapable of making a decision. 
You know who else is? 
My future husband. 
God bless our marriage. 


Until next time,